Friday, April 30, 2010

The house that never opened
There once was a house that sat on a hill it never had one light flash inside the place but there was a mysterious man that went in and out. This man was named Doug no last name and no middle name jus plain old Doug. Doug was a wealthy man that lived in L.A and never needed this house but he would come to it every other weekend. What the house looked like changed every few days like one day it would be purple and the other it would be brown.
One Saturday morning Doug walked in the house with food and a candle light. Jack a 16 year old boy never saw this man and was wondering what he was up too. So the next morning jack watched the door of the house and for hours he sat there wondering what was in that house Jack had a faint idea to go in the house. Earlier that day he gathered his belongings and headed up the hill to the house when he got there he looked through the front window.
Help! He heard coming from the door but it was a women’s voice Jack scuffled to the door he tried to open it but it just would not open. Jack ran to the back door and but the door would just not open “Crash!” he heard the window in the front break so he ran to the front. There was a chair sticking out of the window and he heard a faint sigh in the background. The door swung open and he walked in nobody was in the house the door was mechanically rigged the chair was stuck to a poll and there was a recorder playing a crying girls voice. Out popped Doug and he said “I wanted to make a hunted house did it work I had enough money and the dream to do it” Jack laughed and walked away.

1 comment:

  1. I think you should have worked on your punctuation. You missed more than 95% of all errors. Sometimes, it was hard to understand where there was a period and where there was a run on sentence. Other than that, I liked how you made it a comedy. It was like a comedy with a scary twist.

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